Animal Quiz

Have you ever taken one of those animal personality quizzes?
You know, the "what animal are you" questionnaires that always give the following options:

Lion, Bear, Lamb, zzzzzzzzzzzz

The options are always the same and you always know where they're going with it; boring right?

I thought it over today and decided that my animal personality is....

the KANGAROO

I love kangaroos. They're right up there with dolphins.  Yeah, I could be a dolphin too if I didn't have such a deep-seated fear of wild waters.  Why a kangaroo, you ask?

Because they look cute and unassuming, but if you mess with them, you're in for the ass kicking of your life.

So yeah, I'm a f***ing kangaroo.  GRRR!

Shacking Up

People don't move in together out of love anymore.
Long gone are the days of,

"It's getting serious."
"I think he/she's the one."

I've grown to realize that, nowadays, moving in with a woman is often about convenience for a man.
Plainly put, it's easy access to p**sy.
Or a quick cure for the lonelies
but love, the shit sometimes ain't.

Sometimes, I think I only want what's out of my reach.

Chick-fil-a's peach milkshake is like an orgasm in a cup
Seriously, try that s**t.

I hate it when "She" gives me a shitload of work to do, then proceeds to interrupt me every few minutes. Then she has the gall to ask me how far I've gotten. Well, NOWHERE since you won't leave me the hell alone and let me do my work!  I just can't take it sometimes...

B*tch, please!

Some people should practice going a whole day without correcting the mistakes of others. I know some people who probably couldn't do it to save their lives.