"If I have any beliefs about immortality,
it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven,
and very, very few persons." -James Thurber

"Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit,
you would stay out and your dog would go in." -Mark Twain

As soon as I heard this, I figured he "traded up" from his Asian wife to a blond White woman. What is up with Black athletes and their race issues??

It's always fucking ugly on my birthday